10/09/2026
Yesterday our railing standoff with the city finally saw our fearless bureaucrats from city hall step things up. Jason was served a warrant to give the inspectors and the police officer they brought along access to the stairs inside the building so they could make their way up to the carport roof to inspect the railing. It’s nice to see them finally following legal procedures instead of just making their own rules to bully tax paying citizens who pay their bloated salaries so they can afford to live outside the city limits.
Code for railings requires no more than a 4 and 3/8 inch space between the spindles. This is so someone can’t shove a baby between them and have it plummet to its death. We’ll be damned if they didn’t find a couple of gaps that were 1/16 or 2/16 inches over that 4 and 3/8 inches. That’s it, shut it down, we’re not in compliance, we now face a $500 fine per day if it’s not corrected.
We are all just SHOCKED they found an infraction to continue dragging this thing out, we never saw that coming. There couldn’t possibly be any way these honorable boys are enjoying this like a band of masochistic psychopaths.
When building this thing, Jason cut some blocks that were the required 4 and 3/8 inches to use as spacers between the spindles to have the correct gap. But you know, sometimes when you’re drilling in a screw it’ll shift the wood ever so slightly. Or some of these boards aren’t completely straight and the gap measurements will be different along it’s length. This gross negligence sloppiness in our carpentry will now result in the deaths of thousands of babies who can only be saved with $500 per day sucked up by the city and all the righteous bureaucrats it employs. We’re just glad someone is thinking about the children.
We asked good ol’ city inspector Jeremiah to clarify what can be done that is in code to save millions of baby’s lives in the screenshots below, but alas, he is not permitted to share these heavily guarded secrets. So we will solicit advise from any of you who have some knowledge in these matters for your most cost effective suggestions. Best idea we decide to go with wins a pair of concert tickets.
Jason also has a trial in front of a judge this coming Thursday for not giving permission to our honorable inspection department bureaucrats to enter his property without a warrant, so the good times with the city will just keep on rolling along! We hope you all have been enjoying seeing your tax dollars hard at work with our regular updates that we generate revenue off of because our page is monetized.
Sometimes we wonder if to avoid all this pettiness if we’d have just been better off not saying anything about all the corruption we’d watch going on with the city raking in hundreds of thousands of dollars letting teenagers take over downtown and campus area bars. Hell, we could be raking in that money serving teens too instead of making trips to Menards. We’re probably too far past the point now where even sponsoring the police K-9 unit could make the city look the other way on these 2/16 inch baby killer spindle gaps. Lesson learned, in the future just shut up and OBEY.
On a side note, we’re also pretty impressed with ourselves we made this whole long ass post without going for the obvious low hanging fruit and make some 4 and 3/8 inch p***s measurement jokes. We decided that would just be crass and juvenile, far below the standards of the internet.
