02/26/2026
When did common courtesy disappear from caregiving? If you rely on a care team to navigate daily life, you might know the painful disconnect of being rushed through a meal just so someone can get back to scrolling on their phone. Let's talk about the PCA crisis, the complex grief of independent living, and the loss of humanity in home care.
The Reality of Rushed Care
A thought crossed our minds at Infinite Voices Carry On today, and we want to bring it to the community.
When people step into a caregiving role, they are there to help you navigate your life. But lately, it feels like the delicate balance of courtesy is missing. Take food, for example. Food is an act of love to fuel our temples. But what happens when you ask for crackers because you simply forgot you had bread for a sandwich, and your caregiver accepts that first thought as your final decision?
They know the bread is there. But they don't bother to remind you of your options because grabbing the crackers is the easiest and quickest way to get everything done. This isn't just a disability issue. It's a human issue. For anyone, it is common courtesy to say, "Hey, do you remember you have this available?" Instead, things are rushed so the care team can return to what is "important" to them: technology or hurrying the process so they can get on with their own lives.
The Push for Humanity and Independence
We share this not to sound like complainers or children. But something feels deeply off. There is a profound disconnect between showing up to perform a job and actually keeping the humanity and "lift" present in the room.
It brings up a complex emotional reality: We strive so fiercely for independence. But sometimes, when we come across cold moments like this—especially when it comes to essential, intimate things like food—it makes us want to retreat. It makes us yearn for the "old school" days, surrounded by our family in the busy warmth of our childhood homes, where we were striving for independence but still held in deep, familiar care.
The reality is that our families are aging. They are still around, but they are aging, and they need us to extend the hope of care to others now. We have to rely on our care teams. But needing assistance to live independently shouldn't mean sacrificing the warmth of human dignity.
Question for our community: Does this resonate with you? Do you ever feel the tension between fighting for your independence and missing the natural care of family when dealing with a disconnected care team that rushes through the day? Discuss in the comments below
